Hi there,

Thank you for my readers and apologies there hasn’t been a lot of content lately. I just wanted to say thanks for the comments Im receiving, but ask if all comments posted if they can be in English. Out of all the languages, my German is basic, Tagalog is slipping, Chinese is a work in progress and Italian, I can order a coffee… So if its in English I may respond!

Thanks and stay tuned, we’re about to commence a whole heap of works on our new place.

Owen Wade

Please don’t read if you’re eating dinner…

So its been over 12 months since I embarked on the stay at home dad (SAHD) role and I’ve had a few stories to tell, but thought I would share my yesterday. Whilst I can’t provide photos of the event – because it has some child nudity, I will try and be as descriptive as possible…

So I put my two year old down for his mid day nap. He likes to play around in his cot for a little while before going to sleep, he also has to have his drink bottle, the music on, a book or two, his cars, and his teddies. He plays around in his cot for about half an hour after Ive put him down and I eventually call out to him from the lounge room and say ‘head down time to sleep!’ He bursts into tears which is a bit strange. I go to his room to see what the fuss is and settle him, only to find he’s taken his nappy off and there was shit (poo) everywhere! It was and is my worst nightmare!!!! In disbelief, I start to think, what the hell do I do? It fucking stinks, but Im here on my own and so there is no-one else to handle it and I can’t afford to think about it too much or I would throw up. There’s shit all over the place, Ive got to try and avoid the two year old digesting any, and prevent it spreading any further.

Ok a plan… I run the shower, I grab the boy, strip him down and put him in the shower saying ‘Don’t Move – He’s two and I think with the tone of voice and the frantic nature of the incident I think he knew exactly what I was saying… I go back to the crime scene and start dissecting the bed sheets from the blankets, there is nothing that has escaped the incident even Mickey Mouse had bailed out of the cot but not before having being exposed and tarnished by the excrement. I strip the bed throwing the affected sheet straight in the bin outside and I take the blankets x 3 to the wash. I then proceed back to the shower, the boy hasn’t moved. Strangely enough he didn’t fair too bad, and the rinse in the shower had moved on some of the evidence. The boy is washed, and reclothed and he’s back in the cot with new sheets and blankets and ready for about 25 mins sleep before I have to pick the others up from school.
Its now dinner time, Ive picked the kids up from school, there are now three of them, they have chores, they argue, they’re hungry, the make noise, its the 2 hour period of the day that no parent enjoys. I’m in the kitchen, the two year old is at my feet and using my legs as an obstacle course in and out, in and out. I’m trying to peel potatoes and cutting up veggies for a once a week meat and 3 veg dish. I suddenly hear a grunt from below, I look down and the two year old projectile vomits, not once but three times in a row! OMG! vegetables are cooking, steak is in the pan, no time to think… I grab a cloth, wipe his face and hands quickly remove his top, and put him in the highchair – don’t worry he wasn’t sick sick, he just vomited, I think parents know when the kid is sick or not and two year olds are always walking around the house, picking up thinks and putting them in their mouth. I kept the virtual peg on my nose and proceeded to clean up the spew. Please don’t trust the ‘super absorbent hand towels, I don’t think they have a tolerance for spew. I do the first pass, I stir the vegetables and steak. I wash my hands profusely in between clean up sessions and continue. I feed the first two kids as the other one was out at dance lessons. The boys are both eating, Im gathering myself back together…

L gets home sits down to a nice steak… How was your day? 🙂 Her words echo, its the first time in 12 months I preferred being at work!